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Metabase connected, then showed zero tables

A BI tool connecting to a query engine is not one query. It is a scripted handshake of a dozen metadata calls, and every one has to look exactly like Trino or the tool gives up without an error. We pointed a real Metabase at SQE's Trino endpoint and watched it fail six different ways: a PREPARE the parser rejected, a SHOW TABLES column that collapsed every table into one, catalogs it never enumerated, quoted identifiers that matched nothing, and a timestamp type signature the JDBC driver refused to parse. None of them threw. They just showed nothing.

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